What is love

If the true definition of love is “our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous” I will strive every day to actually mean the words when I say “I love you

Love is having difficult conversations that provoke anxiety and fear. 

Love is standing tall in your convictions of truth and reason despite the waves of opposition. 

Love is asking questions of curiousity even if it makes you uncomfortable. 

Love is accepting that you were wrong in the past. 

Love is accepting another persons emotional experience with openness and honesty. 

Love is taking responsibility for all your actions. 

Love is allowing another to have inconvenient needs. 

Love is doing whatever it takes to become a better, more virtuous human being. 

18 thoughts on “What is love

      • Had a happy weekend. Seeing the benefits of talking to my new therapist. No urges to use and now that I think about it, they have been quite rare and vanish quick when they do slip in. How’s things in your neighborhood? Bike builds working out?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Things are great, Dustin. Bikes are good (though I miss the nice one, still two months before I can drag that out). I got a little squirrely through my anniversary but that’s pretty normal. I co-chaired a Back to Basics session with my sponsor and that REALLY got me back on track again. Just trying to get through the silly season right now. Thanks brother.

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      • Thanks man. That fear will beat you eventually if you don’t get a grasp on it. I’ve seen it too many times, brother. I’m happy to talk about my struggles at meetings because it helps everyone there, including me… It’s good for the noobs to know that the work is never done.

        I’m guessing you don’t have a sponsor. Am I correct?

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      • There have been times when it was almost debilitating – in the speaking sense. My last speaker meeting I did helped me see the fear for the boogeyman that it was. It has always been a factor though. Public speaking has always been a challenge but I do push through even the rare instances of extreme fear from public speaking.
        I do not have a sponsor currently. I do communicate with my old one on occasion but we did complete the steps together(at least the first go-round). I also have a therapist that is skilled in addiction/substance abuse/cognitive behavior that I visit every week. I am wanting a new sponsor but I am also very careful with my decision in that area. I don’t want to sound like I don’t have a network of people in place. I do.
        So do you not have ANY nervousness before speaking in public?

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      • I used to be afraid of public speaking. Then I started asking my Higher Power to speak through me to everyone in attendance… Now I can blame a bad performance on Him. Chuckle.

        I’ve been very fortunate with sponsorship from a very early point in recovery. I’ve had some amazing sponsors. The best, Mike (who died with cancer years ago) was the first sponsor that I WANTED. He was a guy who I wanted to be like when I grew up (in sobriety). He taught me more about being a good person than any sponsor I’ve had… My current sponsor had him as a sponsor way back in the day. Point is, I need that constant check on my self will run riot (the topic of my last fifth step btw). With a good sponsor I can work through issues before I have to talk about them in meetings… I get to talk about the issue I struggled with and fixed with his help, rather than just talking about this issue I’m having.

        Finally, on speaking at a meeting, it becomes easier once you’ve mastered the subject… At that point, it’s just my experience, strength and hope. Know what I’m saying? You’ll get better. The clouds don’t really part for ten years. By 20, you’re basking in the sunshine on a beach.

        Do me a favor and ponder this for a few minutes (no more than 30 minutes): How did he know that I didn’t have a full-time sponsor?

        Don’t trouble yourself with the question. The answer is subtle and a common occurrence with us. It is not something to worry yourself over.

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      • My first sponsor out of rehab was great. Very intelligent and fun to be around. He took me golfing when I first got sober and that was the first great experience I had without drugs. As far as how you knew I would imagine it’s because I haven’t mentioned one? That was my initial thought when you asked me. I’m not much of a worrier. 🤔😄


      • Yep, you never write about a sponsor. Recovery is really a simple equation. I’ve seen a lot of people come and go over the years and the folks who don’t make it, the vast majority don’t do three simple things: They don’t work steps, they don’t surround themselves with sober people and they don’t get a sponsor.

        Dustin, I want to read another book when you hit 20 years so the fact you rarely write about a sponsor has always spooked me a little bit. Sponsorship is a big deal, man. Without one it’s usually right back to self will run riot.

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      • I can’t disagree. I have seen my life with one and without. I do much better when I’m packin a sponsor on my hip. It’s having a weapon in a dark alley. I do plan to get one and with your concern being brought up, I plan to do it soon as possible. Thanks for pushing the issue. I do appreciate it.

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      • My pleasure brother. The other side of that sponsor coin is your response. You’ve got a really good chance to be clean, sober and happy beyond your wildest dreams as long as you keep it up. Your ability to remain teachable and assess reality is fantastic. You have a lot going for you, man. And it gets a lot better the longer you stick around. Thanks brother.

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      • I appreciate it man. I would be an idiot to not take advice from someone who has more experience in the field. I don’t want to shine a moron light on the dunning kruger effect. That would be silly on my part.

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      • BTW, I’m going to be writing a two-part post in the next couple of weeks that will interest you because of what you’re experiencing with your thinking lately… I’ve been working on it for a couple of weeks but it’s a difficult topic to get right when it comes to the language.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I look forward to reading it. I love topics that are word sensitive. I tend to screw them up often but that is the challenging writing I love to work at. Unlike my speedy, terribly worded comment. 🙄

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