The First Day

Today is the first day that my son is at my home with just me and himself – without any other transitional person here with him. So far he is doing amazingly well and we are having a great time playing in the yard and throwing tennis balls with the dogs. 

Tonight will be his first night sleeping here without his grandma. We are thinking that the first night of him sleeping alone will be a major step in his transition process. I hope it goes well tonight. 

Yesterday I was able to speak with a congnitive behavioral therapist that will be working along side my son using cognitive/play therapy. Figuring out what he believes about his mothers death is vital in understanding where he is mentally and emotionally. If we can get him to voice his emotions out loud it will empower him through his emotional processes. I feel really good about the expertise and school of thought that this therapist works with. 

We are planning to have a small “party” this Saturday as the final move takes place. All the people he was living with will be there as well as his new family – Maiju and me. A new beginning for him and the start of a new foundation. I know these ground shaking changes can be traumatic for young children so I hope we have eliminated as much of that as possible. 

I am open and honest to him about his situation and what is taking place. I don’t want anything to catch him off gaurd or to be a surprise. Knowledge for children lowers their anxiety of the unknown. Plus I believe children know far more than we give them credit for. If an 18 month old infant is capable of concept formation, I must believe my son knows exactly what’s going on. 

Just a quick update. It’s not drug related but I am dealing with a completely new scene in life and I am doing it sober. I have to and I want to. I have a wife and son who need me to stick around for the long haul. 

P.S. My son’s grandma is currently reading my memoir and it’s a little nerve wracking to know that she will be reading what I wrote about her daughters character. Hopefully it don’t upset her too much. I am certain her daughter died before reading it which is unfortunate. Too many damn people die of addiction. Thanks for listening to my rambling. Hope you all have a great holiday weekend and for those outside the USA, I hope you have a great weekend!

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4 thoughts on “The First Day

  1. Sounds like your head is screwed on right, brother. Do your best and I’m certain it will be good enough. Your dad would be proud. I’d bet he’s poking St. Peter, pointing down at you “That’s my boy!”

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  2. Thanks for the reassurance Jim. I’m glad my dad was able to meet my boy before he passed away. My boy won’t remember my dad but at least they did meet – even if only for a brief period. Things were quite rough within that “relationship” dynamic when my ex was alive (as one one imagine). Custody laws are not very savvy to the castanet enabled bipedal carbon based life form.

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  3. Totally proud that you are noticing you are doing life sober, yes! And I think you are right, kids see and know more than we give them credit for, and they are resilient. Love helps immensely. I am happy for you and your loved ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Elva, I agree. Kids in many ways are like water. If you could pour them into a container, they can take the shape of whatever container you pour into. Personality however is a bit more static once it sets in, hard like epoxy. He is a smart little guy for sure. I wonder where he gets many of his ideas. Me too, thanks again 🙂

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