I have been seeing a therapist the last four weeks. We’ve been discussing why I have so many issues with food. Because food is the fuel that keeps us alive, this was the first issue I needed to address with him. For the majority of my life, I have been the type of person who sees food as a hassle – a waste of valuable time – a pain in my ass. I have never enjoyed the action of eating food. Very seldom have I been “excited” to sit down and eat a meal. Many times I would go most the day before realising I had not eaten anything. When my dad passed away in 2013, my issue with food became worse.

Being an addict, I often wonder if being addicted to food would be a nice change of scenery. I find that thought so far out of the realm of possibility though. Maybe not. Who knows.

My unconscious is holding the key to unlock my food issue and I am going to find it. My therapist has helped me understand some important factors that contribute to this. As a child, the majority of memories I have about food were quite terrifying to me. Weather it was the notion that I must clean off my plate before getting up from the dinner table or being forced to eat something I knew I would dislike – as a youngster, these were scary situations for me. Do my foul early memories of food contribute to today’s eating habits? Maybe. Maybe not. It’s all very interesting and I will eventually understand it more in the future.

Oh, and I chose the title because I can’t stand the taste of cooked peas. Nasty squishy bastards.

With my food issue typically being backwards from the typical food issues, does anyone else find eating to be such a burden or am I alone on this one? Any thoughts would be appreciated.


5 thoughts on “thera-Peas’

  1. I used to have that exact eating issue when I was much younger. When I quit smoking cigarettes and found out how good food really tastes (about 15 years ago now), everything changed. It also helps that I get to pick what I want to eat now. 😉

    I also had a mom who would force me to eat some gnarly stuff, but again, now that I can eat what I like I don’t have any I’ll effects from my childhood.

    I can very much relate to your post. You’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I quit smoking about 4 years ago and noticed a huge difference in the taste of food. I was hoping I’d gain some weight when I did but that never happened. I can breathe much better now and I won’t die from smoking so that’s a big plus. Thanks for sharing about this. It’s helpful to hear other people’s issue with food. Nice job quitting smoking btw.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m afraid of food. I’ve had stomach problems my whole life and found out in 2013 I have celiac disease, which explains a lot, but has come pretty late.

    Generally I look at food as fuel. I am happy eating the same few foods over and over. I do have issues with not eating which I have used self destructively in the past.

    I don’t see myself using food addictively, but more I have tried many things to contain my anxiety over the years and food, like alcohol, was one way.

    I think therapists are great help to understand behaviour. Whenever we find ourselves doing things that aren’t self supporting there’s usually a reason…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for sharing this. I’m sorry you have celiacs. My wife and I thought I might have it but my test came back negative. Eating would often times be painful but that has subsided for the most part. I hope you are finding helpful ways to deal with your eating problems too. It can be difficult for sure. If you ever need to gab on the subject I’ll be here. I know it helps me to hear I’m not the only person who’s impartial to food. I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic to your celiacs- I just mean it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone in this issue. I agree about the therapy. Mine has helped tremendously already and I’ve even added a couple pounds which I need. Thanks again ainsobriety. 🙂


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