My Wife Stopped Breathing

The past couple weeks have been rough. Wait, no- I have been rough on myself the last couple of weeks. There, that sounds better. Wait, nooo- not better, just more truthful.

I was locked and loaded at the first of January to reach towards some new goals. War paint, tactical gear, and high-powered ammunition; all ready to set a blazing path of absolute rambo-style badassary through these puny underpowered and unarmed goals. And then…..

And then my wife stopped breathing. I know right?! That’s what I said! How could she be so selfish and stop breathing at a time like this?

After I realized “oh shit! she really can’t breathe!” I washed off my face paint, threw my night-vision goggles on the bedroom floor (it’s really hard to drive with them on), and I rushed her to the Emergency Room.

Come to find out, she had an unpronounceable virus in her vocal chords that became so inflamed that when she coughed, it would close off her airway. Her asthma was pretty pissed off as well. She was given some breathing treatments and a kettle full of various medications.

She is still getting over the sickness but she is doing much better. She also has her voice back. That is unfortunate for me because when she wakes up and reads this, I may be next in line for the Emergency Room.

All jokes aside, I don’t want to sound scornful or unsympathetic that my wife became ill. At the time, it was horrifying. The only thing that mattered to me was taking care of my wife. She is everything to me. She is my entire world. Without her I would live in a world of darkness and seeing her gasping; struggling for even the smallest drop of air, completely stopped my world from turning.

My silly little goals to become healthier, stronger, or just to become a better person will always be there waiting for me. (Was that an excellent way to make procrastination sound tender and inviting?) Anyway, my point is my wife needed me. I wanted to use my energy to help her through that nasty sickness because that’s what life is really about. Being there for each other when we need it most. The times when it is hardest for them to laugh or smile are the times we need to dig deep, and throw a big shovel-full of love right on top of them.

Despite the small deviation to “A Better Me”, I was not able to quit sugar cold turkey, but that is hardly a surprise. I have cut it back drastically. I have drunk 3- 12oz sodas in 11 days and I have been able to cut back on candy as well. I think I have eaten 3 pieces maybe 4 since Jan 1. One of those pieces was a piece of Finnish candy that tasted like overused engine oil with a hint of black licorice. I have also gained 2.5 pounds. That’s not a whole lot by that snippet of measurement but if I continue to gain a pound a week, I will weigh 692 pounds by the year 2025. Not bad Dustin…not bad!


38 thoughts on “My Wife Stopped Breathing

  1. Man plans and God laughs. :-/

    Sorry to hear about the troubles you both went through. It must have been sooooo scary.

    Hurray on the sugar and weight gain though! When I’m done quitting beta blockers I will, I hope in short time, continue with a detox and quit the sugar then. I hope…. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      • Beta-blockers block natural responses to fear so as to lower the stress and keep blood pressure low. I did not know that then. I would have never taken them if would have known that and the side effects in the long run, which are a.o. high blood pressure. :-/ They are a bit addictive due to the calm they bring.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I am practically born fighting and flight(ing?). I have always guessed I deal with the carried-over stress from the horrible things that happened to my (great) grand (parents). All 14 of them. And a bad name choice: my name means ‘god of war’.
        I do not know what an overactive amygdala means.
        I am specifically sad today. It takes loads of energy not to have me break stuff, but mostly people and sometimes it does not work and I do break people. 😦

        Liked by 2 people

      • Im not certain what you mean about your grandparents but Im assuming it has something to do with war times? im sorry for that. Especially when I live in the country that is most responsible for all wars over the past 100 years.
        An over active amygdala is a part of the brain that regulates the fight or flight mechanism. Like seeing a snake out of the corner of our eye, the amygdala kicks in and we jump back away from the snake etc. If we are abused or raised in a brutal environment the amygdala will grow bigger than normal causing constant fear etc. thats all my amature opinion so all the caviats in the world, but the science of it seems pretty strong.
        How do you break people? Physically?

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yeah, great grandparents, grandparents, parents, war, alcoholism, abuse, incest, being manic and at the having 12 children at the same time, you name it. Not the best set of genes ;-).
        I think we have made ourselves a strange world. Very little of what we have actually has to do with living healthy. Did you know a caveman only had to work 3 days per week during his entire life? And in that time he got to be outside in nature and with his clan. I like that. Now look at where we took it. No wonder people like I look for another ‘solution’. I’ll look up the amygdala part, I read about abuse and amygdala but not about hyperactivity as a medical term! Thanks for the tip. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Im sorry to hear about all that. Thats some terrible situations to grow up in.
        I agree 100%. I am actually an anarchist when it comes to a way of living. The fundamental premise that governments rely on is violence. They are compelled to initiate force and coersion and they are the crux of ills in societies. Taxes are the initiation of the use of force which causes families the need of two extensive incomes for survival. I believe that peaceful parenting is nessasary to begin fixing the ills of the world.
        I hope you find some intresting info on the brain stuff. I find it very fasinating.

        Liked by 2 people

      • War, governments and diseases’. I am approaching these issues from a ‘how it was meant to be ecologically’ and trying to feel my way through from there. I noticed I make war, and at that moment think I am in the right. Currently learning how to become aware of that (hence the vid in my latest post on wanting to fix stuff) and hopefully learning to feel my way out of the misery into the light and real living. No theories yet, just getting to know my sober me. Being sober is awsome :-).
        You are the first anarchist I speak with in my life. 🙂 It is funny that you bring this issue of me realising I make war to another level. So many coincedences going on the these days.

        Liked by 2 people

      • When you say “ecologically” what do you mean by that? Do you feel that in some way you are responsible for historical disasters and world evils? Also, in which ways do you feel that you create war? Maybe you are pushing against the currant of evil and manipulitive people? Just a thought. You seem like you have a rather strong and working conscience for goodness.
        I believe that many people are anarchists but they dont know it. If you live your life without initiating the use of force to get what you want, then you are living the fundamental principle of anarchy. 🙂


  2. Dustin, that is a very scary blog… And I wonder why you did not share that with your mom? To let me know that you needed help, I feel bad that I wasn’t there to help you rescue her. Sorry sweet lady from Finland, if I had of known I would’ve been there for you to love you through your illness too,
    The Mom ❤️💕
    P.S. Glad that you are both okay!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Glad to hear that you wife is doing better. I know that must have been some really scary stuff. I cant image how she must have felt. I know all about procrastination of New Year goals too. I have been struggling to say the least with my goals as well but I will continue to fight the good fight. Prayers that your wife continues to get better and that you get back to your goals commando style.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Whats harry and david? I dont want to pretend i know and then completely miss my mark. Lol i think we can all give ourselves a few passes throughout our lives. I rarely need a harsh critic cuz I am often my greatest hurdle. Good luck when u get on the train my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • H&D is a gift basket company. One of those Christmas gifts.

        I’m on the train! Eights months now. Coming up on eight years. Figured it was time to tackle another addiction…eating at people, places and things 😄. It’s going great. But it’s no different than any other addiction…awareness, acceptance and action!

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Wow – what a fright, Dustin. I am glad she is well now and continuing to be on the mend! I can’t imagine how it must have been for you both.

    As for the sugar – be gentle. It has taken me three years to sort of manage that. I now know when I am crossing the line, and more importantly, WHY I am. I sometimes grab fruit instead (lame, I know – how does a plum compare to the teeth-rotting concentrated sugar I truly crave?? ha ha) and sometimes I am just hungry or thirsty. Nothing wrong with a sweet after a meal, as long as it’s not the meal itself…lol.

    Hope you’re well 🙂


    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey thanks Paul, we apprieciate that. My wife reads all these so I say “we”. Its toughest when Im alone with the sugar thing, and not because I think I can Get away with it; it is more because I feel like I need something externally to calm my irritability. Something like that.
      Keep it up man! You are someone I see as a great model for personal growth. There is some envy there for sure. 😆 thanks again my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you I lost my husband April 27 2014 Anyrusm imagine THAT I’m alone know ASKING god what did I do. wrong first year without him LORD HELPME IN THIS JOURNEY IWILL NEVER BE TGE same no more SAD LOST SKINNY DEPRESSED.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hello Darlene,
      The comment below does not look linked in reply to your comment. It is my moms comment to you just FYI; if you didnt notice it.
      First off, I am terribly sorry for the loss of your husband. You are right; you will never be the same but can learn to live with the loss and stay healthy. In time, if you put in the theraputic and grieving process work involved. Talking about how you feel about your loss, as painful as it is, can help you through it. I wish you the best and take care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Its hard to drive if one of those four tires is flat.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Thank you I lost my husband April 27 2014 Anyrusm imagine THAT I’m alone know ASKING god what did I do. wrong first year without him LORD HELP ME IN THIS JOURNEY I WILL NEVER BE The same no more SAD LOST SKINNY DEPRESSEd


  7. So very sorry to hear of your loss Darlene. I as well lost my husband of 43 years October 6, 2013…and it is still as fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. Only my husband was sick for two years before he crossed over. I believe that loved ones either taken slowly or quickly, it still breaks and hurts your heart. It seems to be the hardest around Holidays, Birthdays, Special Occasions and Anniversaries. It really does help to blog your feelings, you are welcome to read mine at to help you through the hard times.
    So sorry for your loss 💔💕
    The Mom
    Ps: it will slowly get better that you can actually talk about all the happy memories that you made together…write them all down as you remember – it helps. Good luck on your new journey, and may God bless you in your time of need.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are right. Theyre not silly. I guess in the realm of lifes difficulties and watching my wife struggle for air, they seemed much less important priority-wise. Thanks elva! I missed your comment somehow. Sorry about that.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. My best to the Mrs. I’ve had that issue of not breathing and it’s scary shit. Sounds as if you handled it much better than I would have. I usually would run around in circles and yell for someone to get help. Joking aside I hope she is feeling better and “Good Job Justin” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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